one woman's journey to a new life

a girl, a year, a hundred pounds to lose … and everything to gain

carbs are the devil…. and it’s the devil i love. October 6, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — martiikuznicki @ 1:38 am

let’s see how much of this entry i can recreate from memory, because i accidently backspaced out of the window, shall we.

 

hi guys. it’s me again. long time no talk. i know, i’m a slacker. i’m mostly okay with it. september was hard y’all – things didn’t go the way i planned, and i was in no mind set to do/say anything here. 

 

but now september is over (cue me failing to pass up on the cheap wake up the guys from green day joke … … now), i can get my head back in the game. or at least try.  which means try. and probably fail- but hey, life is like that. you try, you fail, you try again.

 

so as i write this (or, at least as i wrote this the first time), i am eating a dunkin donuts pumpkin muffin. hence the title of the post. carbs are the devil. they’re my ultimate weakness. i can say no to candy and cakes and cookies (although, if you know me, you know that doesn’t happen all too often), but carbs (bread in particular) are really REALLY hard for me to walk past. if i could, and could do it healthily, i would live on bread and butter. or sandwiches with thick pieces of crusty bread. really. it doesn’t take a whole lot to make my eastern european peasant heart happy.just some bread.

 

but i know i can’t. it’s the convincing myself that i can’t that’s the hard part.

 

so here we are, a new month, a new start. and a new fail. but that’s life- you try, you fail, you start again. you go with it. 

 

plusses:

  • met kris allen yesterday w/ queen b. took a picture. don’t hate how i look in it. which is shocking, since the last time i took a picture that i didn’t hate may well have been my wedding pictures. which was closer to a decade ago than not. 
  • bought a pair of jeggings, will actually wear them in public. they’re way more body con than a lot of the stuff i wear in public, but they look good. i just have to cover my ass (figuratively and literally)
  • the scale numbers are moving. i’m under 345 for the first time in as long as i can remember.  which is good and a personal best atm, and i’m good with that. 
  • the bulk of the shirts i have now are getting too big. mixed feelings, since i actually LIKE my shirts.

minuses:

  • no more job. part of why september sucked – i left on my terms more or less, but it’s still gonna suck, no more job means no more 4-6 hours of me walking around 3 days a week and getting paid for it. but… it does mean i have time for the gym? idk. mixed emotions at best about this one kids.
  • tuesday has matt leaving for india and ukraine for about two and a half weeks. i’m generally a mess when he’s gone (throws off the structure to my days, makes me feel more than a little coocoobananacrackers in my head, jacks up my sleep schedule). it’s gonna be a long couple of weeks.

 

weight – 342.8

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One Response to “carbs are the devil…. and it’s the devil i love.”

  1. Vanessa Says:

    I love you and I’m so proud of your progress!! Talk to me because I miss you ❤


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